Humorous Take on the Commandments of the Road

From the Curt Jester:

The following are some of the highlights of the new document.

• If you are carjacked one mile, go with him two.
• If yor are hit, turn the other signal.
• Do not let your air bag become puffed up like the Pharisees
• Let not the sun go down on you road rage
• Carry your cross daily, or at least have one hanging from your rear view mirror.
• When you enter a freeway that is backed up, go and move to the lowest place and not try to merge into the front. For every one who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.
• Do not talk about your Honda so that it can be said of you "That he did not say it of his own Accord."
• Hydroplaning is not the same thing as walking on water, avoid it.
• Before Jesus peformed the miracle at Cana, he appointed a designated driver.
• Do not say "Are we there yet", but rather "It is good to be here."
  

In other news Sammy Hagar has been excommunicated for not being able to drive 55.

We can look forward to new documents in the future from the Pontifical Council for Transportation. Another document called "Sacrificial suffering and airline food" is rumored to be in the works.

Vatican Releases 10 Commandments for Drivers

From "GUIDELINES FOR THE PASTORAL CARE OF THE ROAD":

Resorting to our Heavenly Intercessors should not make us forget the importance of the sign of the cross, to be made before setting out on a journey. With this sign we put ourselves directly under the protection of the Holy Trinity. Indeed, this directs us above all to the Father, as origin and destination. In this regard, we recall the words of the psalm: “For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways” (Psalms 91 [90]:11).
The sign of the cross thus entrusts us to our guide, Jesus Christ (cf. John 8:12). The Emmaus encounter (cf. Luke 24:13-35) reassures us that the Lord meets everyone along the road, lodges in the houses of those who invite him, travels with us and sits beside us.
Finally, the sign of the cross takes us back to “the Holy Spirit, who is Lord and gives Life”[25]. To those who call on him, he illuminates the mind and grants the gift of prudence to reach one’s destination. This is confirmed by the hymn, Veni Creator: “Ductore sic te praevio, vitemus omne noxium” (“If you are the one who guides us, we will avoid anything that might harm us”).
60. During a journey it is also beneficial to pray vocally, especially taking turns with our fellow travellers in reciting the prayers, as when reciting the Rosary[26] which, due to its rhythm and gentle repetition, does not distract the driver’s attention. This will help to feel immersed in the presence of God, to stay under his protection, and may also give rise to a desire for communal or liturgical celebration, if possible at “spiritually strategic” points along the road or railway (shrines, churches and chapels, including mobile ones).
We have drawn up a special “decalogue” for them, in analogy with the Lord’s Ten Commandments. These are stated here below, as indications, considering that they may also be formulated differently.

I. You shall not kill.
II. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
III. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
IV. Be charitable and help your neighbour in need, especially victims of accidents.
V. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
VI. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
VII. Support the families of accident victims.
VIII.Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
IX. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
X. Feel responsible towards others.